So I didn’t eat from Saturday onward, and I maintained weight. How is that even biologically possible? To not eat a BITE and maintain weight? It’s beyond frustrating, so I pushed myself to do that which I hate, and eat when I have the opportunity to fast. But i know, eating a little bit spikes your metabolism and pushes you to lose. It seems so counter-intuitive that I could lose weight whilst eating food…
So 82ib, 82ib, 82ib, 82ib and a bowl of vegetables. I had a rice cracker thingy, 15g of red pepper, 12g of orange pepper, 15g of baby spinach, a medium button mushroom, and 20g of carrot in stick form. I had that with a dessert spoon of low-fat cottage cheese to dip it in, half a dessert spoon of salsa, and 10g of lemon houmous.
That left me SO DAMN FULL. which seems a bit daft even to me… A bowl of vegetables and I’m full to the point of discomfort?
Except then I ate a pack of 98kcal ‘biscuit moments’. CHOCOLATEEEEEEEEEEEEE
What does chocolate cause for Faye? BINGE!
now i’m fighting the binge urges hard, and i don’t think i’m going to win. i already ate a milky way ‘celebrations’ chocolate, my brother won a box and i ate one even though they aren’t mine, but i need chocolate. chocolate. chocolate. i want biscuits too but chocolate comes first. i don’t have time to lax, i need to but i missed my opportunity, can’t have them kicking in at work. can’t have them kicking in on saturday either though, or sunday. what am i going to do? I’m going to have to eat at my aunt’s house I bet, but i might not actually, i’m going to take some ‘safe’ dinner.
I need to lose this weight! I need to see my TRUE weight but i’ve already lost it. I was going to fast then lax so i’m all empty of food weight, but i’ve eaten before lax, so now i don’t know. I usually drop about a pound a day when fasting, why hasn’t it worked this time? I can’t binge. BUT CHOCOLATE.
Need to lose by tuesday, probably going into hospital then (know fo sho tomorrow). how? how do i do this?
You know, sometimes when you eat after starving it kicks your metabolism up a gear and you end up losing weight. Could happen. If not, know this, as much as you can’t see it, you are tiny and not overweight in any way. P.S On the laxative thing, mine kicked in at work a week ago- oh my God, I had forgotten how unpleasant that is. Fully sweating, trying to hold back my stomach. AWFUL. Laxatives are the devil!
ugh laxatives at work, awful is the word. squirming around on reception trying to smile politely whilst pretty much dying and needing to run to the bathroom (which, by the way, is tiny and stuffy with a very small window I can’t reach. uh-oh…)
Thankyou <3 i don't feel tiny, at all. (especially after rage at today's number lead to a binge on cereal bars, pastry and a pizza slice?) but uh. i still appreciate it when other people say so lol
Honest to God, you’re the thinnest person I know. I’m not even joking. The only person I can think of is my 2 yr old nephew. And he’s an adorable little Buddha-baby, so even he’s gaining on you, fast.
Seems like your poor body’s reached its limit and is in survival mode. I wish you the best . . . even if we disagree on what that is.
that feels so bizarre to read, it really doesn’t feel like it could be about me >.< But your nephew sounds so cute!
and it seems I will be getting what everyone else considers the best whether i like it or not, so you can at least be pleased on that point :p
It probably has, to be honest. I maintained again this morning down to the minutest fragment of a pound and so binged in frustration though, so i don't know if it has stayed that way.
Thankyou
Yes, you are tiny, but I know how you feel about not recognizing it. If this helps, I am 34.5 pounds heavier than you and they are concerned about me. I feel like a huge fat cow. I’m sure you feel the same about yourself too. Be strong and know that despite what your head is telling you and your heart is feeling, you really are doing the right thing in order to stay alive and hopefully, not have permanent physical damage. ((( hugs)))